Before making this blog, I was actually thinking if I should make another entry about being thin. I’m sure everyone is tired reading about someone wanting to be thin.
Anyway, I was looking at pictures of my friends and I during E’s birthday party and I was like, “WTF! I’m the fat of one.” I’m not comparing myself with my friends but the difference in size is so obvious and hard to miss.
I have broad shoulder and my hips are wide. I kinda resemble an hourglass. I’m not that tall so I don’t get to use my broad shoulders as an advantage. I want to be model, but I know that will remain as a dream for the rest of my life. I’m not tall and I’m fat. Thanks to society’s standards, I’m not close in having that dream as a reality.
I can’t afford to go to the gym because it’s expensive and I’m also afraid I might get fatter if I’m not able to continue going to the gym. I heard other people say that “going to the gym is a lifetime commitment” I don’t think I can do that. Eat healthy? It doesn’t work out for me.
I just want to lose a little more weight so I can have enough confidence. I embrace my size, especially that I can’t do much about it but I guess a couple more pounds won’t hurt. I wish I could go back to 110 or less pounds.
Do you have any advice for me?