Yes, I miss my best friend…she’s just a call away. A call I tried to make this afternoon, but she didn’t pick it up maybe because she was busy with her work.

Things are different between us now, very different from how it was a few years ago. Before, communication was clear between us. Since, we are from different places we use technology to keep in touch—text messages, calls, chats and emails. We would always check on each other, and make a little chat about our friends, just to update. But now, we don’t communicate that often anymore. Sometimes, it takes a month or two before I hear from her. And when we do have the chance to talk, it’s often brief and meaningless.

I’m tired reaching out, and sometimes, I feel like I’m the only one trying to keep our friendship. I know, I shouldn’t be melodramatic at this stuff. I have a lot of close friends and I’m happy hanging out with them but they don’t know me like my best friend did. I have another best friend from grade school,but she also has her new best friend so I think I’m kinda out of the picture and she knew me from a very different time.

I just miss that old friendship with my best friend.Yes, change is constant.

It just sucks not having that same old best friend. While writing this blog, I even got a little teary-eyed. (Honestly, I cried.)—i really miss her.


7 responses to “I miss my BEST FRIEND

  1. Aww! I’m sorry. 😦 My best friend is an hour and a half away an I hardly ever get to see her. We still try to talk even though she is insanely busy and I just work. I miss mine too. Maybe you should try to talk to your best friend about how you feel? Good luck!

  2. im sorry.. there;s only so much reaching out you can do. why don’t u try talking about ur hurt. maybe she’ll realize what she’s doing and be more open and available. it wont hurt to try talking to her about it? sometimes the most obvious things to us are not so obvious to others until u open their eyes. 

  3. @BeautifulDisaster04 – Thanks.I’ll find the courage to do that again.@gweirdo – Actually, I did try talking to her about it before, but it didn’t make any difference. It kinda hurt my ego, it’s like I was begging and expecting too much.  I’m trying to find that strength to open that topic again, because I don’t want to be rejected again. Rejection isn’t really my thing, it’s not easy for me to get over that phase. Thanks.Thanks to you both.=)

  4. @hazey_chique – yeah your ego does take the brunt of it. but if you give her an ultimatum a final option at least u can close the chapter and stop wondering if it was you or maybe you didn’t try hard enough. sometimes being the most vulnerable is what we have to do to either get somewhere or get nowhere. because A. you’ll find out what you really mean to her. B. she might realize what she’s doing and come back and be the friend she always was. or C. she might tell u to basically fuck off and that she’s moved on. Either way you’ll get a definite answer so your heart will stop doing the tango back and forth. Honestly I’m the worst person to talk to about this stuff because I honest to god have no friends. I cut all of them off one by one it’s been a year now and it sometimes feels shitty to be lonely but all of them have used me in some way or another and I just got tired of it. I’d rather be alone than hurting. I have more respect for myself and have a clear head because of it. Ihave a couple of friends from the US who i still stay in touch with, but none in my city. i think losing a friendship is on the same lines as losing a boyfriend.. they both hurt..

  5. @gweirdo – I think the last time I did talk to her about this, I got choice letter C as the response. I think she has moved on, she didn’t tell me that but it felt that way.Yes, I’ve been through that phase but when it comes to my best friend, it’s just a different thing. I mean, I can cut all of them off one by one from my life but when it comes to my best friend, it’s a different thing. I’ve excluded from my life those friends who’ve used me in one way or another, and I feel no hurt for them. In fact, getting those parasites out of my system just feels so good. When it comes to regular friends, my pride is my priority but when it comes to my best friends, it seems like a different story.I really hate that I can’t do much of my relationship with my bestfriend. 

  6. @hazey_chique – yeah it does suck to be in this situation.. im sure better things will come along even though it doesn’t seem like it right now.. don’t worry… she will understand one day what she gave up… it doesnt make it feel any better i know but other people who respect u and treasure ur company will come along and make you feel the way u should be feeling. =)

  7. @gweirdo – I hope so…but if even if she doesn’t understand what she gave up…I think I’ll still be here for her. I think she’ll be the last person who’ll see this side of me…the one who reaches out and tries again and again for the friendship to work out. I don’t think I’ll do it ever again…like I said, rejection isn’t my thing…

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