one question

I was caught off guard by a question. A question I didn’t expect to come between “Hi’s “and “How are you?” plus those silly topics and so it really took me a while to answer it.

It goes:

My heart pounded like crazy but my mind felt like it stopped working. After a few seconds, I’ve realized there were tears in my eyes. I tried to answer the question, I scanned every corner of my mind looking for that moment when I was able to say that I have moved on or at least the time when I’ve ‘decided’ that I’m fine. I couldn’t remember.

All I know was, the last time I saw him I wasn’t over him. It was last year, a night out with him and the new girl of his life. (Yes, I know…it was totally masochistic to a agree to hang out with them.) Anyway,this was the only thing that came up when I tried to look for the answer in my head. So I told him about it but added “then a few months after that I was okay already.”

So there…I said it. After a few months since I saw him, I was over him. I think he believed my answer. Good. Now, why can’t I convince myself with that answer.

I doubt myself that I’m truly over him.Maybe the real question here is “HAVE I REALLY MOVED ON?”


4 responses to “one question

  1. Sometimes memories that we have linger on and bring forth forgotten joy and happiness that when you realize it hurts us because we can’t have it again. We must just grow accustomed to it like taking shots it doesn’t get as painful as we grow up. Time is the only thing that can help heal this type of damage by yourself. Unless you find someone better and create new memories it is very hard. 

  2. I know how you feel. I have to say that I unfortunately (fortunately?) get to see my ex at work every day… not often, but I do and it’s ok but I’m over him now. 

  3. @chanchina – Very true. I think it hurts me because I know that everything is different now and those memories will forever remain as they are.Time has healed me a bit.I can say that it isn’t as painful as it was before.Thank you.

  4. @BeautifulDisaster04 – I think sometimes it is good to see your ex everyday…because sometimes what they call in psychology as ‘desensitization’ occurs, when you are constantly exposed to the cause of pain that you get immune to it. I wish I’ll be totally immune from pain.

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