Drifting memories and worries

Despite my busy schedule, sometimes my mind would drift to place scary. It shows one of my greatest fears—one that involves a very important person in my life. I know something is wrong with her, but I’m not sure what it is. After I’ve lost my Dad, I know I couldn’t afford to lose her. No, not her. Not my Mom. Just the thought of it makes me shiver. She’s still around but I think I’m slowly losing her. 

I feel like I’m losing her while she loses her memory of me,and maybe of everything. I’m scared. I’m really scared. I’m currently away from her because of my work and studies. I wish I could be there to look after her,but I think finishing what I have to do here will be better for the both of us. My sisters are near her but, I just don’t trust their love for my mom. (I’m sorry if I sound self-righteous, but I think being the youngest also means being the closest to my mom.) My siblings have their own families already, and I’m the only one who’s left to be there for her. I hate myself. I should be there by her side and take care of her. I hate myself for being here but if pursue my plans, it would be much worse than it is now. 

I wish I can share all my worries to my siblings, but that’s not me. I gotta suck it up, gotta be strong, and gotta do what I have to do.

 

Please Lord, help me.

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One response to “Drifting memories and worries

  1. Hang in there and when you have no one to talk to, pray. God listens 🙂

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